Ray and I just talk extensively about how ridiculously wild our marriage has been together. Between the minor drama of convincing our loved ones of our deep, solid relationship prior to marriage, and our roller-coaster turmoil bringing our precious children home from the distant Guatemala with five flights to and from, the solid ADVENTURE of reigning in two crazy wild boys and attempting to teach them of the love of Jesus, and then the dramatic unfolding of Loretta's estate with Ray as executor and my unending desire for that drama to end, all to this: the arrival of the most unwanted cancer. *sigh* It's been a lot.
We're thankful, however, for our deep love for Christ as our foundation and deep love for each other as anchors through the storms. Ray notes: it's amazing how God completed all of these challenges, just days before this newest challenge.
Right now we rest securely in God's hands. Having been brought to our knees and undone by so many things before now, we know exactly where we need to head: God's sovereign embrace.
See now I myself and He!
There is no god besides me.
I put to death and I bring to life
I have wounded and I will heal
and no one can deliver out of my hand.
Deut. 32:39
Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise.
Jeremiah 17:14
We've been thrust to the rock bed of faith quite quickly, as this cancer came on suddenly and with grim news. I won't pretend that any part of Ray putting his affairs in order didn't wrench my heart, nor that his conversations with his children about his illness and will didn't make me want to crumble. It's been news that steals your breath and makes time cease. I even confessed to a friend that the idea of Christmas seemed daunting and unwanted as I looked onward with grey, stricken eyes.
But prayer, burying ourselves in scripture, being with family and friends, and the blessing of hope have all remedied our hearts. Friends, PK and Bill visited the other night and PK said to us, "Throw everything you know about God out the window, and begin again." Ray and I are doing that. We're learning afresh, and regardless of the conclusion of this journey, we eagerly seek to learn about and know God more intimately and truer than we have before.
We have hope of a cure.
We also know that what Ray must undergo is massive, and fairly ridiculous. The idea of removing multiple organs and fashioning new ones out of "extra" body parts feels more like science fiction than reality. We don't know, nor can imagine, what state Ray will be in during his two months of recovery. We do beg of you all to pray to the God who hears us -- that Ray be free of any medical complications, that his healing process be smooth, that the surgery be effective.
We have been so humbled by those offering prayers on our behalf, and those who've been supportive through phone calls and emails. We're grateful in so many ways for those who've watch the kids for us or have offered to drive Ray to UVA or bring us food, or clean our home. God bless you. Your kindnesses have made Ray and I feel loved in ways we never dreamed. Thank you.
Tomorrow, Ray calls to schedule the surgery. We've prepared a number of questions to ask the nurse regarding our hospital stay and post-surgery. So hopefully we'll be prepared with some news to share in the afternoon. *fingers crossed*
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