Unplug from the Vise

Ray went to work on Monday.  I don't know how he managed, but he did.  I couldn't get a hold of him in the morning at school; he told me later that he slept through his planning period.  It was evident that he was struggling as the Department Chair came to let him know they were ready on a moment's notice to cover him at school.  He called me at lunch and said he felt really awful; the bell rang and I didn't hear from him again until nearly 4:00.  He came home and slept.

He woke up this morning and was unable to finish his shower.  He called the school and let them know.  He worked on lesson plans and corresponding with the school, but he didn't leave the bedroom until dinner -- at which point he left before the kids were finished because they were both coughing and he was worried about his immune system.  He's been back in bed ever since.

He would explain his side effects right now as a general nausea, shakiness, dizziness.  He said once that he stretched in bed and started seeing stars.  Everything tastes horrible.  For whatever reason, sweet tea seems to be the only thing that doesn't gross him out.  And he's exhausted.

I feel exhausted.
I don't know if it's sympathy exhaustion or the wear of stress, but I think I'm ready to turn my brain off for a few days.  A physical vacation wouldn't do it.  I need a complete unplug.

It feels like each chemo day is like the tightening of a vise in its accumulation.  I am scared of what lies ahead.